Monthly Archives: December 2010

work and action!

hello midgets and non-midgets!

So I’ve a job now that I’m enjoying my year of freedom, and even though it’s not a job I ever thought I would like, I actually do!

You are probably thinking “What is it? It sounds dirty!” and actually it is… a bit. I’m working at a grocery store called Netto in Denmark, and there’s SOOOOOO much action!

On my second day of work we got a visit from one of our favorite customers. She was really annoying and didn’t quite understand we had to close the store 10 minutes ago, but what the hell – she was a good money machine for us… or that was what we thought.

Our brilliant leader could feel something weird about the lady besides her annoying face and voice. I would rather listen to someone scratch a blackboard for hours. So we checked our surveillance camera and to my fascination the lady STOLE FROM US!! And what a sneaky lady. You could see she had done it before.

While we were checking her out again and again… and again – I couldn’t stop – someone knocked on our window and then we got really, REALLY scared – or the others did, I just laughed (I always do that in stressed-out situations and when my dad does something really embarrassing). In this case it was unfortunately because of number 2 I started laughing hysterically. I just KNEW it was daddy getting a bit impatient waiting for me to be finished with work.

We checked our cameras and saw 2 cars that we didn’t know anything about, and then I got scared and relieved that daddy didn’t embarrass me this time. Long story short we first came out from the store 45 minutes after closing time to find out my colleague’s mother was the hysterical, impatient one who scared us with her knocking. And geez, she was a bit creepy I must admit.

So that was the story. I thought it was AWESOME with all that drama, but I’m just a lonesome bored cowboy…

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This is why it’s cooler to be a man

 

the face of gender-jealousy

 

Because you can pee in public, and all you need is something to pee on and a wiggle.

Because you can be an asshole and STILL attract a lot of women.

Because you can eat more than women without gaining any weight on. So NOT fair.

Because you get to be with a woman. Women are so sweet and soft. And no, I’m not gay – but sometimes I wish I was.

Because you can’t get pregnant

Because you can have hair on your legs

Because you don’t need to shave your whole body every 3 days. And by whole I mean legs and armpits. Do you guys know how many years we use on that?

Because it’s not cool to inherit your dads hairy gorilla genes when you are a girl.

….I will stop talking about body hair now by the way.

Because you don’t need to wear a bra.

Because you often can do dirty things with anything that wears a bra, and you know it!

 

And its good to be back… for now.

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