Monthly Archives: December 2011

New year joke

“I don’t function before 1 pm” vol. 2

I don’t believe in new year resolutions because I’m a fucking fail in keeping a routine, which I’ve learned is quite essential. Apparently. But with that said I will try to be something I haven’t been 100 %. maybe just 20 %, but who doesn’t like to take pictures of themselves when they are bored?
So! My new year whatever-resolution is to be a fucking hardcore narcissist so people like you really can see how they are. You may think of me like one, but if that was the real case I wouldn’t get fucked uncomfortably by a few and yet too many homo sapiens. I’m just that sweet. Or I was. So from now on fuck you and you and oh… You too.

Do you remember I once told you I didn’t function before 1 pm? It hasn’t changed.

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happy fucking new year assholes

I think I’m pretty done for now. My new year resolution is myself, and everybody else can go fuck themselves till they bleed.

Happy new year and a fucking non-good year for those of you not lucky to have me in your fucking life.

Non-bye and non-goodnight.

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a cop of love and vomit in a less dramatic-sounding way, please.

Seriously.

I should just get over it, shouldn’t I? but the problem is every single time I say to myself that there is nothing for me anymore, then I find something – anything – that fits perfectly to you. and not in the cheesy “omg, this is soooooooooo you”-way, but more in the sense that I want to share everything with you. Every. Little. Stupid. Thing.

Like yesterday I apparently got meself a little food poison – again – and while throwing up a perfectly good meal, some of the vomit hit my eye. don’t ask me how, but it did and it was so fucking hilarious.

by the way: it hurts like a bitch, so please keep vomit away from the eyes.

Maybe I wouldn’t share something like that – I don’t know, I probably would because it was funny. It really was. Though, the point of this story is I feel less than limited around you, and that scares me. A lot.

That’s probably why I tangled myself in a shit load of shit. Shit shit shit. Shit everywhere as well actually.

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Meat cooking and underwear

You know… One of those days where you look forward to marinate some good meat – duck breasts, if you were wondering. And you enjoy cooking so much and you think of ways to marinate this fine piece of meat while you enjoy a good red wine as well. The only thing missing from this picture is me with my own kitchen, so I can cook in whatever I feel like. Is it so much to ask for to marinate meat while your wearing underwear?

Oh well, I just have to settle with clothes then. But it won’t be the same, trust me…

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done

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and when you least expected it….

…it comes to you on a drunk trip deep in the forest, far far away from the life in the city. it comes when you didn’t even think you could ever feel like that again, and then it finally came, it came with a shit load of chaos.

my life in a nutshell vol-fucking-patethic-2

did you know when you remove all the vowels in female, you get fml? this should pretty much give you an idea about how I feel right now…

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