A lonesome night….. staying in…. in my pathetic little dorm room. It smells like pot in here and I really don’t know why, but I certainly do love my new dorm room-smell. More of that please.
Enough of talking about my dorm room-odor. I feel like shit today. Like someone ate me, crapped me out and then took a great, smelly, over-the-top shit on me. I don’t know exactly why, but I really feel shitty in that way.
I had some great days this week. Actually I had some fucking swell days with the guy from my idea of heaven. Long story short we talked through the entire chaotic mess, got utterly shit faced and decided to see each other again. Thanks to enormous amount of wine for bringing us together.
So back to business: I’m angry, hurt, sad, depressed…. I feel a lot of emotions right now. I’m mad at the guy from my idea heaven. I’m mad at him, because he’s there and yet so far away. I’m mad at him because he didn’t try – even a bit – to cheer me up, and even though I said I needed to be alone I really just needed him to show me that he cares. I know, women are crazy. We demand of you to read our minds, but guys… come on, it isn’t THAT difficult, especially when all the hard work is done and the only thing you have to do is to show some affection. Maybe buy some chocolate or some doob. That would do perfectly.
In spite of everything, I’m not only mad at him, but also at my friends. Copenhagen. My family. I’m just utterly mad at everyone. I don’t want to move back, but then again… I really need to. And I don’t want love and affection, but I really need it. Maybe that’s the problem with me today, I don’t want anything but I need everything. Yeah, that’s probably the deal.. and maybe some pre-PMS.
love and happiness can be found within. you can prevail above it all. a smile does a lot to help too =]