Category Archives: Myself

October 24, 2012 · 12:02 pm

Feeling utterly raped by Apple, and not in the good kinda way

Photo Booth fail or Photo Booth good-surprise?

So apparently Apple have made something new for the market. Oh my fucking god a brand new iPad mini, you say?! “That is just to cum over” are you probably thinking. But I’m not so impressed.

Let me first tell you I’m a proud owner of a destroyed iPhone 3GS and a new MacBook Air. Two products you seriously could cum over. I could and I have, to be frank. I take all of my previous bad words back about Apple – cause they really know their shit.
But one thing that really pisses me off – pisses me off to the moon – is how stupid we are and how Apple is abusing this for their advantage. Think about it: who needs a fucking iPad MINI when there are iPhones, MacBooks and iPads on the market? Do you really – and I mean REALLY – need an iPad MINI?!?! Its fucking bigger than a brand new iPhone 5 and yet smaller than an iPad and maybe weighs 100 grams less or more, but other than that it is a completely useless product for me. I feel so fooled and so pathetic, flashing my Apple products in school when they actually just raped the world from behind by making their old ideas smaller and therefore fooling the entire world – so much, that people wait 15 hours in the fucking cold to get one while the people behind Apple sit in their 10.000 dollars offices, sipping on their fat-free-soya-macchiato and laughing at us for being so easy and stupid.

The new iPad mini ISN’T a revolutionary fucking thing. It’s just a smaller iPad, and isn’t the new iPad great enough as it is? Seriously dude.

Now I will take a shower and wash all the nastyness of me.

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October 23, 2012 · 9:56 pm

How to go from sexy fak to hanging tits and sloopy ass in few months. The new and improved lifestyle diet for you

early morning zombie, being bathroom-narcissistic in my university

So one thing I wasn’t prepared for when I started to study medicine, was all the goddamn parties. If my liver could talk, it would ask me to go fuck myself pretty heavily. Sorry liver, it wasn’t my intention to mess you up like a used-up hooker.

With that said, this past time have been so crazy, that my brain cells are suffering from permanent damages. I had millions, now I have none. It’s scary, huh? One day, hopefully, I’m a doctor and you will be my patient. If you knew how fucked medicine students are, you would just handle your operation on the kitchen table instead. I really don’t get how you can stay sane studying this extremely difficult education with extremely intakes of alcohol every week. Let’s see if I become a doctor before my body shuts down on me.

Another thing I wasn’t prepared for either was how insanely stupid I actually am. Like really godawful-braindead-american-cheerleader-movie stupid. I don’t and haven’t understood a shit of what I have been reading the past 2 months, and it seems to get worse. Everybody keeps telling me it will come, like a sun on a cloudy sky (or something) one ugly-turns-beautiful day. I keep telling them there are more full of shit than I am, but still they somehow believe in me or quite frankly just feel sorry for me. I haven’t quite figured that out yet.
But they say hard work pays off. If studying from 7 in the morning to 7 in the evening isn’t hard work, I will become a prostitute. Easy and fast earning money as well. Win-win.

Maybe I should stop rambling and go to bed. I’m looking 10 years older, my tits are hanging on my shoes, my skin is going through puberty again, my ass is softer than two pillows and I’m getting fat. And even though that are some shitty things studying medicine does to my body – ALREADY – I’m still in love with every single, fat-adding-to-my-body-and-ass day.

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August 29, 2012 · 3:54 pm

Me vs random girl from your thoughts. Place your bets – this fight will be messy

Maybe you should have worked on being the perfect man for me, asshole? Have you ever thought like that instead of chasing this unrealistic, pathetic dream of how your ideal woman should be?
So you think you have to work on yourself until you achieve the final state of “good man” and then your price will be the girl of your dreams, standing in line in a grocery shop with coconut oil and mango in her hands? No, you stupid fool. You met the perfect woman already and she was right at your door. The most unbelievable great, smart, beautiful woman you could ever meet in this fucked up western world with fucked up western needs. You were so unbelievably lucky that you met her while you still were the most imperfect, ungrateful man you can be. You are just that lucky, mate. And even though this perfect woman deserves better than you, you should have fought for her. This fight would have made you perfect, would have made you complete. But instead you chose the easy way out again. You chose your uncertainty, which in the end will do noting for you than bring you down.

You chose to be incomplete and alone. Now: go fuck yourself with everyone else.

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August 27, 2012 · 11:06 am

Lesson of the day: there’s shit in everything

I’m full of shit. This blog is full of shit. You are full of shit. We all are full of shit. Your mother shits shit. My picture looks like shit, and yes – there’s shit on my face.

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August 26, 2012 · 4:52 pm

Take-away dating part “the end”: you can have one’s pickle in your burger and eat it too

What a ride I’ve had with the boys the last couple of months. Of course a “ride” in an almost non-sexual way. I’ve met crazy guys, who punched me while they were sleeping, and guys who were too limited emotionally. Guys, who just wanted to fuck and guys who just were too gay for my heterosexual taste. Who would have thought that one random day, sitting in and having no desire for making plans at all, I would meet the guy who really mattered. A guy, who just needed some love and caring to see his own potential and ours  - even though he, at times, also turned out to be a sick bastard. I get the freaks every time I think of what would have happened if we just gave up and settled with being “just friends”. Though, we did that once and fortunately it didn’t last too long. Thank God for wine.

So there I have it. My problem with boys was mostly my own fault. I’ve pushed everyone away the last 2 years and finally I fought for someone.. and myself. I was vulnerable, I was fragile.. and I was scared. I lost all sense of control for the first time in years and let this one great guy take care of me. I did it. I fucking did it. My loser ex-boyfriend can go fuck himself now because from this day on he’s not a factor in my lonesomeness anymore. His adultery has nothing on me anymore. I’m free again, and one step closer to finding peace with myself.

Thank you, C. Thank you for seeing me for what I am and for ending a fucking lousy chapter in my life.

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August 23, 2012 · 10:56 am

it’s getting hot in here, so burn your fucking pot and keep me locked in here

Pot heaven vol. 2

I had enough of smelling the pot from my neighbor in my dorm room. Every single fucking time I come home, there it is. The pot. The pot totally raping my sense of smell. Pot pot pot. Everywhere. When I’m sleeping, when I’m eating… shitting….. there it is, inviting itself to a onesome-fiesta in my room.
Scumbag of a neighbor I have, not tried once to offer me some of their good fucking pot just for the kindness. Just to say “hey I’m sorry that every single shitty item in your room smells like shit, and I’m sorry if you’re going to have some problems with your dad, when he is picking you up on saturday to move your things back to your hometown. I’m greatly sorry. Godspeed mate”.

Fuckers.

 

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August 16, 2012 · 7:36 pm

I’m just a lonesome, persian cowboy who needs some love and doob

A lonesome night….. staying in…. in my pathetic little dorm room. It smells like pot in here and I really don’t know why, but I certainly do love my new dorm room-smell. More of that please.

Enough of talking about my dorm room-odor. I feel like shit today. Like someone ate me, crapped me out and then took a great, smelly, over-the-top shit on me. I don’t know exactly why, but I really feel shitty in that way.

I had some great days this week. Actually I had some fucking swell days with the guy from my idea of heaven. Long story short we talked through the entire chaotic mess, got utterly shit faced and decided to see each other again. Thanks to enormous amount of wine for bringing us together.

So back to business: I’m angry, hurt, sad, depressed…. I feel a lot of emotions right now. I’m mad at the guy from my idea heaven. I’m mad at him, because he’s there and yet so far away. I’m mad at him because he didn’t try – even a bit – to cheer me up, and even though I said I needed to be alone I really just needed him to show me that he cares. I know, women are crazy. We demand of you to read our minds, but guys…  come on, it isn’t THAT difficult, especially when all the hard work is done and the only thing you have to do is to show some affection. Maybe buy some chocolate or some doob. That would do perfectly.
In spite of everything, I’m not only mad at him, but also at my friends. Copenhagen. My family. I’m just utterly mad at everyone. I don’t want to move back, but then again… I really need to. And I don’t want love and affection, but I really need it. Maybe that’s the problem with me today, I don’t want anything but I need everything. Yeah, that’s probably the deal.. and maybe some pre-PMS.

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August 11, 2012 · 2:43 pm

Take-away dating part revelation: I need pickles in my burger

So it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m probably the most pussied out little girl now than I’ve ever been before. Yes, I do have some standards and principles, which I think everybody should have, but I didn’t realize how scared I actually am of getting fucked up, psycho hurt again and therefore pushing everybody away from me, including my friends and family and only depending on myself. In all this time I’ve used my standards and principles as the main reason to push people away…. not always though – mostly when they made me feel again.

It started about 3 years ago, when I met the love of my life. You know, when you just feel that this person is the one you want to have little babies with. He’s the one who really completes you, makes you feel rock solid and strong and more free than ever. Feeling free to do anything you ever thought of doing. Things you never thought you were able to do. This feeling was mutual.
To make it short it all ended because the bastard cheated on me while he was on exchange in Asia. And he didn’t even cheat on me with a beautiful asian girl (if you have to cheat in a another country why not try something new and local, right?), but instead he had an affair with a boring, typical Scandinavian girl. Discovering this infidelity changed me for life.
So…. I’ve been through lots of crazy shit, but this just changed me more than anything else in my life and without knowing, I just stopped feeling. From that day I lost my entire identity and didn’t have any desire of getting it back.

Now 3 years later I’m trying so hard to feel again. To give myself the chance to feel. Just feel. It doesn’t matter if I feel sad or happy, but that I just fucking feel goddammit. And it’s okay if someone else makes me feel. It’s okay to rely on other people to help me on my path to “myself” again – whatever that is. For 2 years I was convinced that I had to find my passion – my motivation to live – through myself, but that’s just a load of crap. I’ve achieved a lot on my own by now and I think I’m capable to achieve anything I want, but for what use is it for if it’s only for me? I can’t only use me for a shit. I don’t inspire me, I get inspired and motivated by others. Things around me, people around me. That’s just how it is and it’s pathetic to think that you can fully yourself… by yourself only.

And for the record: I know this post is raped deeply by the use of “feel” – but that was actually the purpose of it. Just so you know why I annoyed the fuck out of you by repeating myself.

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August 8, 2012 · 5:44 pm

Take-away dating part 3: a deep pan pizza with extra cheese please

Cumming soon to a mouth near you……

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August 6, 2012 · 8:09 pm

Take-away dating and a hello to my old math teacher

4xme – what’s not great about that?

I haven’t felt like blogging in a long time – not because I didn’t have a lot of shit to say and a lot of shit to give, but mostly because I had a life. It didn’t last too long.
I’ve been dating… a lot. And still I’m not good at it. It bores me. Maybe because I’m too demanding or maybe I just meet lots of boring boys. I can’t figure it out anymore, but they mostly just repulse me. I don’t think it’s their fault, but more the direction this community is turning. Nobody wants to put any effort in anything but themselves. Seriously. I’m about 2 boys from throwing up over this thing called “individuality”, always thinking of me me me me and yeah… me. And “personal development” is oh so important, and don’t misunderstand me, it is, but come on… You can’t use “personal development” for a squat. Trust me on that. If you think you will be a better person alone, you are delusional. Personal development is only a shitty concept developed by some capitalist assholes who are using this shitty, individual mindset for their own goddamn benefit. If you are so fucking holy and see yourself has a sucker for Buddha, you should just lock yourself in a rotten shed and eat fucking rice until you die.. pretty much. But if you still think you get “closer to yourself” by sticking your meat in everything that walks – be my guest and we will invite some hollowness and chlamydia to dinner: do you eat meat?
But enough of that – you can’t blame people. Today you can customize everything in your life, you can even get a burger without pickles (even though I really don’t understand people who un-choose that). So why even bother to fight for love, when you can customize that as well? Just be aware that you – in the end – just will date a robot, whom you have built. Or something. What the fuck do I know anymore…

So for something completely different. I’m going to study Medicine, and actually I got two spots. One on University of Copenhagen and one on University of Southern Denmark. What are the odds?! I feel so goddamn lucky. Finally I feel like I got the recognition I’ve been working so hard on. In secondary school my great great math teacher (feel the irony here) said that I sucked at math and would probably have a difficult time passing and getting the grade that was necessary in high school to study Medicine. And guess what stupid math teacher? I was fucking great in high school, so fucking great that two – TWO!!! – universities want me. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it, mother fuckeeeeeeeeeer.

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