freshly squeezed photo from this morning.
I’m getting sick here in Copenhagen and I have absolutely no food at all. It’s snowing. It’s horribly cold. I’m tired and happy, I would be more happy if I had something to eat other than cabbage and eggs. I just fucking love cabbage – that sad veggie is totally underestimated. People should appreciate it more. Like pickles.
Did I mention that it’s snowing? It affects my pessimistic little heart, punching it back to hopeless romantic. I like it – you somewhat feel alive again when you step out of the real, fucking depressing world for a while. Just a little while, and then I will mentally kick my romantic little heart back to hardcore pessimism filled with anger – again. That’s just how you get ahead the most of the time: being a rock solid, hardcore, crazyass bitch.
But I’m happy – too happy and that’s too scary. I can’t control happiness, and certainly not this form of happiness, and I’m not sure if I had the power I would control it. Then it wouldn’t be the same. Sometimes everything is more beautiful when you are completely powerless and inches from falling into a big, dark hole of nothing. And maybe I’m ready to take that chance again. I couldn’t imagine feeling worse than I did before. This time I will feel. Either way. Happy or unhappy – and that’s always better than feeling nothing at all.
It’s still snowing….